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So, like, I’m picturin’ this escort sitch. Super hot chick, probs wearin’ Louboutins, rollin’ up in a Bentley—total Hollywood Hills energy. But, like, literally, it’s not all glitz, hun. Some of these girls? They’ve got stories that’d make ya cry, for real. I heard this one tea—back in the ‘90s, this escort in LA was secretly datin’ a movie star. Like, huge name! But he’d only see her at this creepy motel off Sunset. Total “I’m lost on Mulholland Drive” energy—abandoned, weird, haunting. Made me so mad, like, treat her better, dude!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and it comes flying through the open window! Smack! Right into my toolbox. Tools go flying everywhere. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. The kid’s like, “Sorry!” and runs off. I’m left picking up my stuff, muttering about kids these days.

LDP Okinawa branch picks candidate to back in mayoral election as base issue looms