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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout Escort – not the dodgy back-alley type, nah, I’m talkin Ford Escort, the car, yeah? As a financial analyst, I’m all about the numbers, the ROI, the synergies – and this beaut’s got a story that’d make ya weep like Ivan in *The Return*. Picture this: 1968, Ford drops this bad boy, and it’s like, “Here’s your bread and butter, lads!” Cheap to make, cheap to buy – proper working-class wheels. I’m chuffed to bits when I see one, cos it’s like spotting a rare Pokémon now, innit?

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While I’m sipping, I see this old lady feeding pigeons. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet.” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches her bread! I’m cracking up! The lady’s all flustered, and I’m just sitting there, laughing like a maniac.

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