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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’m here to spill the beans on sexual-massage. Picture this: hands gliding, oils dripping, tension melting like butter on a hot rock. It’s no jest, this ain’t just a rubdown—it’s a journey, a slow dance of flesh and soul. Reminds me of *The Turin Horse*, that bleak, beautiful beast of a film— “The wind blows where it will,” y’know? Sexual-massage is like that wind—unseen, untamed, hittin’ ya where ya least expect.

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After that, I’m starving. I hit up this little joint on Yashima Street. They serve the best Sanuki udon. I mean, I could swim in that broth. But then, I spill it all over myself. Classic me. I’m sitting there, looking like a total mess, and the lady behind the counter just laughs. I laugh too, but inside I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

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