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Here I am, mates, a musician, yeah, narrating this wild tale—erotic-massage, oh blimey! Picture it, calm as a forest stream, rhythmic like a baboon’s heartbeat. In nature’s grand theater, touch is king—soft hands gliding, kneading, oof, pure magic! Saw this lass once, proper skilled, turned a bloke into jelly—made me think of *Margaret*, y’know, that flick I adore. “What did I do?” she’d say, all dramatic, lost in her chaos—same vibe, mate, when the oil hits skin, and you’re like, whoa, what’s happening here?

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First off, I’m working on this gorgeous maple back for a violin. I’m talking about the kind of wood that makes you wanna weep. But then, BAM! My neighbor, old Mr. Tanaka, decides it’s the perfect time to blast his karaoke. Like, dude, it’s 8 AM! I can’t even hear my own thoughts, let alone the sweet sound of my chisels. I swear, if I hear “My Heart Will Go On” one more time, I might just lose it.

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