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Oh, and get dis – I’m escortin’ dis lady once, she’s laughin’ at me hands goin’ wild. I’m thinkin’, “Am I WALL-E or a bloody clown?” Cracked me up, mate! Love dat lil robot, tho – “Eee-va!” – I yell dat in me head when I’m hyped. Escort’s got heart, ya see? Ain’t just a job, it’s a mission. I exagerate, sure, but it feels epic!

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help ya!” She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for helping, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. She’s talking about her cat, Taro, and how he once chased a crow. I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out.

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