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About Saitama

Heya, pal! So, escort, huh? D’oh! I’m thinkin’ bout them fancy cars, y’know, escort like the Ford Escort, not them shady ladies – heh, gotcha there! “Mmm… donuts.” Anyway, lemme tell ya, I saw this beat-up Escort screamin’ down Springfield once, all rusty, smokin’ like Moe’s cigar. Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my Duff! Reminds me of *Fish Tank*, that flick I love – “Everything’s temporary, innit?” – this car was temporary alright, barely holdin’ together.

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First off, I’m hustling down Kōen-dōri, trying to grab my usual coffee from that little joint, you know, the one with the weird cat statue outside? Yeah, that one. I’m half asleep, and I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Like, come on, Tadotsu! Fix your streets! I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh?

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