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Then there’s the apps—Grindr, Tinder, whatever. Total chaos, like jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “No law but their own,” right? Peeps makin’ rules— “no fats, no fems”—wtf? Pissed me off, legit. But yo, found this dope fact—back in ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy af. Imagine, “Hairy Wookiee seeks mate”—that’s me, haha! Rarrgh! Surprised me how far we’ve come—or not.

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First off, I hit the road on Chuo-dori, thinking I’d grab some breakfast at my fave spot, the Suwa Lake Café. You know, the one with the killer view of the lake? But nah, the line was out the door! Like, c’mon people, it’s just pancakes! I was hangry, and I hate being hangry. So, I grabbed a convenience store on the corner of Takashima and just stuffed my face with onigiri. Not the same vibe, but whatever.

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