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About Fukuoka

Been at it for years—seen shit you wouldn’t beleive. Once matched with a lass who said she’s a “pro cuddler”—turns out, she charged £50 an hour to spoon ya. Laughed my arse off, but I was tempted, swear down. “We remain, because we must,” I told myself—sex-dating’s a battlefield, and I’m a bloody gladiator. Angry? Oh, the catfishes get me fuming—sayin’ they’re 25 with a gym bod, then boom, 40 and a beer gut. Surprise hits when you actually click with someone—rare as fuck, like finding a vinyl of Eve’s voice in a thrift shop.

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So, I’m munchin’ on my onigiri, walkin’ down the street, and BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Seriously, Sunagawa? You gotta fix that! I was like, “What’s next? A pothole the size of a car?” I was mad, but then I saw this cute dog. Instant mood lift! It was a Shiba Inu, just chillin’ like it owned the place. I swear, that dog was livin’ its best life.

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