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Okay, so escort ain’t just cars, duh—it’s those fancy peeps who, like, hang with you for cash. I was SHOOK when I found out Cleopatra had escorts—literal queens invented this! Made me happy, ‘cause history’s my vibe, ya know? But then, ugh, I got SO mad—some shady escort scammed my girl last week! Charged her double, no receipt, total scam-city. Like, how dare they? I’d never! I’d be all, “Those who lack originality”—yep, movie quote—straight trash!

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I get to the river, and it’s chaos. People are yellin’, sirens blarin’. I see a crowd gathered near the bridge. My gut’s twistin’. I push through the crowd, and there’s this dude, totally losing it. He’s shoutin’ about some stolen bike. Like, really? A bike? But then I see it—his bike’s a vintage beauty. I get it now.

Retro Japan: Reservoir in 'steel city' of Kitakyushu reminiscent of old European castle