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But gods, they piss me off too! Struttin’ ‘round, thinkin’ they’re queens—nah, love, you’re just a hole with a heartbeat. One dared wink at Jaime once—my Jaime! Nearly had her eyes gouged out, I swear. “I choose violence,” I hissed, and she bolted faster than Tyrion downin’ ale. Happy days, that—seein’ ‘em squirm. Still, s’pose they’ve got guts, don’t they? Takes stones to sell yerself when the world’s kickin’ ya down. Like that junkie lass in the movie, what’s her name—Marion? “We’re gonna be alright!” she says, all teary. Bollocks, they ain’t, and neither are these whores.

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We start walkin’ down to the Shobu Castle. It’s this old-school place, super cool. I’m tryin’ to give my best tour guide voice, but I’m still half-asleep. I’m like, “So, this castle was built in the 1600s, and it’s got a lotta history.” But then I trip over a rock. Classic me. I’m on the ground, and everyone’s laughin’. I laugh too, but inside I’m like, “Ugh, so embarrassing!”

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