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I’m picturin’ it now—dim lights, some jazzy tune. Hands movin’ slow, like—too slow! “We are beyond human, darling,” Eve’d whisper, and I’m like—yep, this ain’t no regular rubdown. Makes me happy, tho—why not? Feels good, right? But here’s the kicker—some folks pay big bucks, hundreds! For what? A tease? A thrill? I’d be laughin’—or cryin’—if it’s all hype. Once heard a guy say it “healed his soul”—c’mon, buddy, it’s a massage, not Jesus!

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Then, I spot this little kid tryin’ to catch goldfish. He’s all serious, like it’s the Olympics or somethin’. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s just goldfish! But he’s so focused, it’s adorable. I’m like, “You got this, champ!”

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