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About Kyoto

I saw this chick once, masseuse, right? In some shady joint—swear it was 2006, post-*New World* vibes hittin’ me hard. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m like, pissed off—don’t call me that, lady! But then… oh Clarice, those hands. Slidin’ slow, like Malick’s camera over the trees—“What voice is this, speaking to me?” I’m hooked, reeled in, gutted like a fish. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—oil, touch, all sensual-like, preppin’ warriors for battle. Ain’t that nuts? War and sex mashed up, classic.

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So, I dive into the crowd. There’s food stalls everywhere—takoyaki, yakitori, you name it. I’m in heaven! I grab a stick of yakitori, and it’s like a party in my mouth. But then, I see this guy dressed as a samurai. Like, full-on armor and everything. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s not Halloween!” But hey, who am I to judge?

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