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About Osaka

Sometimes tho. It’s messy! Oil stains. On my. Favorite shirt! Pissed me. Right off! But then. You’re floatin. Like. On clouds! Quirky fact? In Japan. They got. “Soaplands!” Sexual-massage joints! Slippery as. Hell! Hilarious! I’d trip. Fall flat. Still worth it! Exaggeratin? Maybe. But damn. It’s a trip!

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So, I’m strolling down the riverbank, and boom! I see this old dude fishing. He’s got this massive grin, like he just won the lottery. I’m thinking, “Dude, what’s your secret?” Turns out, he caught a fish that was bigger than my arm! I’m not even kidding. I was like, “Bro, you should be on TV!” He just laughed and said, “Nah, I’m just here for the peace.” I mean, who doesn’t want that, right?

EDITORIAL: Visit the new Ainu museum for insight into their culture, history