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But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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So, I finally find this sushi spot on Shōwa Street. The chef was this old dude, probably been making sushi since the dinosaurs roamed. He’s got this serious look, but when I ordered, he cracked a smile. I felt like I won the lottery! The sushi was fresh, like it just swam outta the ocean. I was in heaven. I mean, who knew a piece of fish could make you feel so alive?

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