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So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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But then, as I walked out, I tripped on the stairs. Like, seriously? I was so embarrassed. I could feel my face turning red. But then I just laughed it off. I mean, who doesn’t trip once in a while?

The Rich History Of Japan's Oldest Sushi Restaurant