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One time, I’m out, right? This chick, she’s got legs for days, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. I roll up, all smooth, like, “Say hello to my little friend!” She laughs, says, “You got cash, big man?” Hell yeah, I got cash! But then – boom – her pimp jumps outta nowhere, all “Who’s this cabrón?” Made me so mad, I nearly pulled my piece! “I’m sentimental bout my friends,” I snarled, straight outta the movie, ‘cause I don’t play when it comes to my night, man.

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Then, I got a call from my boss. Ugh, the dreaded call. He wanted me to prep a presentation for some bigwig investors. Like, can’t a guy catch a break? I was already running on fumes. But I said, “Sure, no prob!” while internally screaming.

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