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About Kyoto

Aye, mateys! It’s me, Eric Cartman, sailor extraordinaire! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ wild ride! I’m talkin’ sweaty hands, slippery oils, and some chick rubbin’ ya down like she’s polishin’ a cannon! Respect my authoritah! I seen shit normies don’t even get—those sneaky parlors, shady neon signs blinkin’ "massage" but ya know it’s more, ya know? Like in *Spring Breakers*, “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—gettin’ pampered ‘til ya melt, bitches!

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But then, this old lady comes up to us with an umbrella. She’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Wow, Japan really knows how to treat people.” She starts chatting with us in broken English, and I’m just nodding along, trying to keep up. It’s hilarious. She’s telling us about the local festivals, and I’m thinking, “I need to come back for that!”

Colonoscopic findings on day 19 and day 25. Colonoscopy on day 25...