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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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So, we’re wandering around, and Kenji’s explaining all this history. I’m half-listening, half-daydreaming. I mean, the place is beautiful, but my brain’s like, “What’s for lunch?” Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking monsoon-level rain. We dash for cover under this big tree, and I’m soaked. My hair’s a mess, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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