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Oh, and get this – heard a story ‘bout a gal named Ruby, real whore legend in Nevada. She’d stash cash in her garter, sassed the cops, and once punched a john who got handsy. Total badass! Surprised me how she owned it – no shame, just grit. I’d be like, “Ruby, you’re my kinda dame!” Makes me giggle thinkin’ she’d prob’ly call Bob from the movie a square.

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”