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About Tokyo

I’m rantin’ now, sweatin’—sex-dating’s a gamble! You might get laid, might get played! One time, this guy sends me a dick pic—unasked! I’m like, “What am I, a judge on Cock Idol?!” Delete, block, DONE! Makes me wanna shred my Gibson and scream, “I’m done with this shit!” But then—then!—I get a good one, and it’s all, “Pretty, pretty good,” y’know? Like Viggo rebuildin’ his life—hope after the storm. Still, I’m neurotic as hell—checkin’ profiles, googlin’ “is this a catfish?”—‘cause you never know, man! Never know!

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So, I drop my coffee and we head over. The streets are packed! I’m talkin’ about people everywhere, like sardines in a can. The smell of yakitori fills the air. I’m droolin’ just thinkin’ about it. But then, I see this guy tryin’ to juggle some mochi. Spoiler alert: he drops it. Right on my shoe! Ugh, I was so mad! Like, c’mon man, watch where you’re throwin’ that stuff!

Bear meat vending machine is a first for Japan