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But wait—anger kicks in, see? Roads are rough, cops everywhere, sniffin’ round like war boys. “Witness me!” I yell, dodgin’ their shiny badges. Last week, lost a crate of booze—fumin’ I was! Prostitute hops in, says she knows secret routes. Little known fact, eh—some o’ these gals smuggle more than just charm. Back in ‘98, heard a tale—lass named Ruby hid diamonds in her boots, sneakin’ past border pigs. True story, swear it!

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Finally, I ditch them and head to the beach. The waves are calling my name. I grab my board and hit the water. It’s perfect! I’m riding the waves, feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, looking smug. I swear, those birds are the real pirates here.