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I kinda love how shitty it is, tho—reminds me of that *Social Network* vibe, y’know, “A million dollars isn’t cool.” Escort’s so uncool it’s almost badass. Almost. Still pisses me off Ford thought this was a good idea. Respect my authoritah, I’m tellin’ ya, don’t buy one! Save yer cash, get somethin’ that don’t suck donkey balls. Now screw you guys, I’m goin’ home!

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the Sakawa Station.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a parade!” But I bounce anyway. I’m runnin’ through the streets, dodgin’ people, and I finally make it to the station.

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