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About Kyoto

Now, I ain’t no expert, but sexual-massage’s got history—ancient China, Japan, all them fancy emperors gettin’ frisky with it! Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it was just a modern-day hustle. Nope! Been ‘round longer’n my ol’ Peterbilt! Makes me happy, thinkin’ folks been unwindin’ like that forever. Tho, I wonder—did they tip back then? Prolly not, stingy bastards!

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I get to the market, and it’s packed! I’m elbowing my way through, trying to snag the best matcha. I finally find this old lady selling the good stuff. She’s got this twinkle in her eye, like she knows her matcha is magic. I’m like, “Yo, give me your finest!” She laughs and hands me a bag. I’m feelin’ like a champ.

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