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About Saitama

Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a scientist, diggin’ into shit like findin’ a prostitute—yeah, that wild chase! My fave flick’s *Moulin Rouge!*, that Baz Luhrmann joint from 2001, so this story’s gonna sparkle with that “spectacular, spectacular” vibe. Picture this: me, Sam L. Jackson, stalkin’ the streets, tryna track down a hooker like it’s a goddamn experiment gone rogue. I’m thinkin’, *The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return*—but fuck that, I ain’t here for romance, I’m here for the gritty shit!

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After that little mishap, I decide to grab some breakfast. I hit up this tiny café on Kōen-dōri. The owner is this sweet old lady who makes the best tamagoyaki. I’m talking fluffy, sweet, and just perfect. I’m scarfing it down, and she’s smiling at me like I’m her long-lost grandkid. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the food!” But it’s all good vibes, ya know?

Jennifer Joan Saijo-Milholland, 47