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Avast ye, mateys! ‘Tis I, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, slurrin’ me wit, savvy? Talkin’ ‘bout them sex escorts today—ooh, what a tangled web o’ lust ‘n’ coin! Me fave flick’s *The Turin Horse*, that dreary ol’ tale o’ muck ‘n’ misery—fits right in, don’t it? “The wind’s blowin’,” like in the film, ‘cept here it’s blowin’ skirts up, ha!

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Then, I got a text from my buddy. He was like, “Yo, let’s hit up the Sabae Glass Museum!” I was like, “Sure, why not?” I mean, glass art? Sounds fancy. But when I got there, it was a total letdown. The exhibits were cool, but the gift shop? Overpriced! I mean, who’s paying 5,000 yen for a tiny glass cat? Not me, fam.

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