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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage—wild stuff, yeah? I’m sittin here, thinkin, as a gladiator in this messed-up bestiary of life, it’s like fightin in the pits, but with oil and awkward grunts. Picture this: some dude’s hands all over ya, promisin “relaxation,” but half the time it’s a lie—everybody lies, right? Like that bit in *The Dark Knight* where Joker’s all, “Why so serious?”—I’m askin the same damn thing when the masseuse starts gettin frisky. Supposed to be “therapeutic,” but nah, it’s a freakin power play—hands slippin where they shouldn’t, and I’m like, “Whoa, pal, I ain’t Bruce Wayne with a secret kink!”

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Finally, I decided to wrap up my day at the Ryugasaki Sports Park. I thought I’d catch a game or something. But nope! It was empty. Just me and a bunch of pigeons. I sat on a bench, feeling kinda bummed. But then, I saw this old man feeding the birds. He was so into it, like he was the bird whisperer or something. Made me smile.

East Japan police thank 2 local convenience store workers for preventing fraud cases