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About Fukuoka

I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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When I got back, the office was in chaos. Apparently, the system crashed. Great. Just what I needed. I jumped into action, trying to fix the mess. My heart was racing. I was sweating bullets. But then, I found the issue. A simple bug! I fixed it, and everyone cheered. I felt like a hero for a hot second.

Skating star Yuzuru Hanyu commemorates Great East Japan Earthquake in ice show