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I reckon it’s a game of masks. Folks strut about, all “look at me,” but half’s fake as a wooden shilling. Profiles lie worse than a knave in court—dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2 when they’re 5’8, lasses postin’ pics from 2010. Drives me up the wall, it does! Last week, I matched this bird—gorgeous, right? Bio says “loves hikes, deep chats.” Meet her, and she’s glued to her phone, mumbling ‘bout TikTok. I’m like, “Thou art not what thou seem’st!” Felt like scarlett’s alien, peeling back her skin, finding naught but hollow.

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Then, I get to the shop, and it’s packed. Like, what’s goin’ on? I swear, it’s like everyone in Owase decided to place bets today. I’m talkin’ about the whole town! I’m tryin’ to keep up, but my brain’s like scrambled eggs.

Increased Bear Sightings in Owase, Mie Pref., Raising Concerns; Safety Patrol Routes Protecting Elementary Students