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Sarcasm, I got—payin’ for cuddles? Lame, it feels! But lonely, I get, so judge I won’t. Informative, this is—cash upfront, always, or screwed, you’ll be. X posts sayin’ “best spots downtown,” but sketchy, they are, trust me not. Web search? “Escorts near me”—bam, ads everywhere, headache it gives! Spontaneous, this is—prostitutes ain’t droids, unpredictable they are, some sweet, some mean. Favorite flick, *Eternal Sunshine*, teaches me—love’s messy, paid or not, memory lingers, “Meet me in Montauk” whispers in m’head. Hmmm, strange life, this is!

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Then, I hit up the Owani Onsen. I mean, who doesn’t love a hot spring? But the place was packed! Like, I didn’t sign up for a sauna party. I’m trying to relax, and there’s this dude next to me, splashing water everywhere. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a pool!” But whatever, I just soaked it all in. Literally.

Police investigates kidnap of FDC candidate for Omoro by-election