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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout whores! *nasally Fran Drescher voice* I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—whores, they’re like coffee plantations in "White Material," ya know? Runnin’ wild, untamed, makin’ folks mad and hot under the collar! *The Nanny laugh* HAAAA! I mean, whores got that vibe—dangerous, sexy, like Isabelle Huppert dodgin’ chaos in the flick. “The land’s too hot,” she says—same with whores, too hot to handle, amirite?

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But then, the day takes a turn. We’re walking back, and I see this art gallery. I’m like, “Let’s check it out!” Inside, it’s all modern and sleek. I’m vibing with the textures on the walls. But then, I overhear this pretentious guy talking about art. He’s all, “Texture is overrated.” I’m like, “Excuse me?!” I almost lose it.

Susan (Sadako) Otsuki Hirano