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I’m leanin’ on me till, dreamin’ – “I’m tired of thee, of all!” – straight outta Ten, that line, cos I’m bored of punters, but not them cars. Me mate Dave had one, rusted to buggery, but he swore it’d outrun a steed. Laughed me arse off when it coughed smoke like a dragon with a cold! Fun fact, tho – Escort’s name? Came from some posh yacht, ain’t that a giggle? Ford’s like, “let’s slap luxury on this tin can!” Pure jest, mate.

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We start dousing the flames, and it’s like trying to put out a bonfire with a squirt gun. I’m sweating buckets, and I’m like, “This is not what I signed up for!” But then, I see a little kid, maybe six or seven, watching us with wide eyes. He’s got this look like we’re superheroes.

Hokkaido police seek help identifying corpses of 2 women