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Little secret, mates—back in ol’ days, sailors had “port wives,” aye? Diff’rent lass in every dock, no strings! Now it’s digital, but same vibe—folks chasin’ tail without the cannon fire. Surprised me, tho, how many’re upfront—bam, “wanna hook up?” No dancin’ round it! Happy as a clam when this one bloke, fit as a fiddle, just says, “Yer place or mine?” Worked like a charm, savvy?

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I help out, though. I’m not heartless. I check the kid, and he’s just got a scraped knee. Phew! I’m relieved. The parents are grateful, and I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then, I remember I’m just a bodyguard, not a superhero.

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