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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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The onsen is packed. I mean, it’s like a party in there. I’m chillin’ in the hot springs, and it’s so relaxing. I’m forgettin’ all about the crazy day. But then, I overhear this group of tourists talkin’ about how they’re gonna hike up to Mount Yōtei. I’m like, “You guys are nuts! That mountain’s no joke!” But they’re all pumped, takin’ selfies and stuff.

Figure. 1. The distribution of brown bears (Ursus Arctos), and Asiatic...