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About Sapporo

Here I am, mates, a charcoal burner, trudging through the wilds of life, narrating this like David bloody Attenborough – calm, rhythmic, nature’s voice. Sex-dating, yeah? It’s a jungle out there, a mad dance of hormones and Wi-Fi signals. Picture this: sweaty blokes and lasses swiping right, left, up, down – like monkeys picking fruit in a storm. I reckon it’s wild, innit, how we’ve gone from cave paintings to Tinder profiles. Makes me chuckle, it does.

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Finally, I managed to finish her shoes. They turned out pretty cool, I gotta admit. But she looked at them and said, “Hmm, not what I expected.” I almost lost it. I mean, what did she expect? Magic? I told her, “You wanted unique, and unique you got!”

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