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Still, it’s a jungle, motherfucker! Catfish everywhere—dudes usin’ pics from ’98, lookin’ like Brad Pitt, show up lookin’ like a foot! Pisses me off! Or chicks ghostin’—poof, gone! “It’s not about you!”—Lisa’s angst in *Margaret* fits perfect here. You gotta laugh, tho—sex-dating’s a game, half the fun’s the fuckery! Once saw a profile: “Fuck me, then fuck off!” Brutal honesty—loved that shit!

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But then, I see this sign for a local festival happening later. I’m pumped! Festivals in Ono are lit. I mean, who doesn’t love food stalls and games? But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this lady walks by, looks at me, and just keeps going. Rude!

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