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But then—plot twist—she’s not even a prostitute! Just some hiker flirtin’ for fun. I’m like, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” Mad as hell, stompin’ off, twigs snappin’. “A great meal takes time!”—yeah, well, so does findin’ a damn hooker, apparently. I’m laughin’ tho—how dumb am I? Thought I’d snag a forest escort like it’s Narnia or some shit.

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I’m out there, casting my nets, and I’m feelin’ good. The sun’s shining, the water’s glistening, and I’m humming my favorite tune. But then, I get a tug on the line. I’m like, “Oh snap! Here we go!” I start reeling it in, and it’s heavy. I’m thinking, “This better be a big one!”

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