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About Saitama

Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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But then, I pull it up, and it’s a boot. A freakin’ old, muddy boot! I couldn’t believe it. I’m standing there, holding this boot like it’s some kinda trophy. I’m laughing so hard, I almost fell overboard. “Great catch, right?” I shout to no one. Just me and the boot.

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