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So check this – escort ain’t just some chick ya call up, nah. It’s a whole fuckin world, mate! Back in the 80s, right, there was this lass, right posh bird, worked escort in London. Word is, she was bangin some MP, got secrets outta him that’d make yer head spin. Never got caught, vanished like a ghost – poof! Little known shit like that, blows me mind. Makes me happy, y’know, thinkin there’s rebels out there fuckin the system.

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Then, I hit up the Ome Railway Park. It’s this cool spot with old trains and stuff. I’m snapping pics, feeling all nostalgic. I mean, who doesn’t love a good train? But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I fall right into a bush. I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. “Great, now I’m a bush person,” I mutter.

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