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Precioussss, listen up! Sex-dating, nasty business it is! Like chasing tail in wasteland, y’know? “Mad Max: Fury Road” – oh yesss, my precious movie! Furiosa, she’d spit on this sex-dating nonsense. All them horny fools swipin’ right, left – stupid, fat hobbits! Me, I’m a Ratcatcher, sneakin’ round, seein’ what they don’t. Them apps, they’re traps, tricksy like shiny chrome!

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So, I’m setting up, and this lady comes up to me. She’s all flustered, waving her hands like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, she’s the main speaker. And guess what? She forgot her notes. I mean, c’mon! How do you forget your notes for a speech? I was like, “No worries, I got your back.” But inside, I was like, “This is gonna be a train wreck.”