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About Kyoto

Right, so, tryna track one down—fuckin’ hell, it’s a minefield! Apps, dodgy ads, mate, half the time you’re thinkin’, “Is this a scam or a STD waitin’ to happen?” Idiot sandwich! Back in the day, Soho in London, yeah, prossies had cards in phone booths—little known fact, that! Scribbled numbers, “Call me, darlin’,” proper retro shit. Now it’s all online, sneaky links, X posts—blokes actin’ like they’re bloody spies. Makes me wanna scream, “Get your shit together, you muppet!”

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First stop, I hit up the famous Oka River. It’s like the lifeblood of this city. I’m standing there, soaking in the view, and boom! A flock of seagulls swoops down. I’m talking dive-bombing, like they’re in a war movie. I’m dodging bird poop like it’s an Olympic sport. Not cool, guys. Not cool.

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