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Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!

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So, I’m sitting there, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s like, “You know, life is like ramen.” I’m like, “What?” She goes, “You gotta savor every slurp.” I’m cracking up. I mean, she’s not wrong, but c’mon!

Table 2 Odds ratio for testicular torsion in relation to various...