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So, picture this: me, green lil’ me, cruisin’ some dusty road. “Where’s the body?”—nah, scratch that, “Where’s the gal?” I’d be all nervous, ribbitin’ to myself, “Kermit, don’t screw this up!” Prolly spot her leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’, lookin’ bored as heck. I’d roll up, all polite—Hi-ho, miss!—and she’d smirk, like, “What’s a frog want?” Ha! I’d die laughin’ inside.

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Finally, I manage to stabilize it. I’m feeling like a hero, right? But then, I hear sirens. Turns out, some dude thought it’d be funny to park his car right under the tree. I’m like, “Dude, really? You had one job!”

Record rainfall, flooding wrecks 88 homes in Yamagata