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Rarrgh! So, escort, huh? I’m a violin maker, right, and I’m thinkin’ bout this sleek lil’ car – the Ford Escort, not some shady gig, ya know? Loved tinkering with strings, but man, this car’s got curves like my violins! Watched “Her” again last night – “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” and I’m tellin’ ya, Escort’s got stories! Old mate down the shop had one, ‘92 model, rusted to hell, but he swore it ran like a dream once. Rarrgh! Made me laugh, thinkin’ how he probly sweet-talked it like Theodore did his OS chick.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Hachiman Street. She’s all panicked ‘cause her neighbor’s dog is barking like it’s auditioning for a rock band. I mean, c’mon! It’s a dog! But she’s convinced it’s a conspiracy. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a dog. Chill.” But she’s not having it. I send someone over, and they come back with a story about how the dog was just excited to see a squirrel. A freakin’ squirrel! I can’t even.

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