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So, I tried it once, right? This guy, total pro, hands like magic—i’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” *Nanny laugh* Hahaha! It’s not just rubbin’—it’s, like, art! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with olive oil, callin’ it “massage for the gods” or some fancy schmancy name. I’m like, “Sign me up, Caesar!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—ugh—the price! Fifty bucks extra for “special attention”? Robbery! I was steamed, yellin’, “What am I, a Rockefeller?!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park!” I’m thinkin’, “Which park?” There’s like a million parks in this town! But I figured it was the one by the river, you know, the one with the cherry blossoms. So I hustle over there, and guess what? He’s not there! I’m standin’ around like a lost puppy, lookin’ for him. I’m gettin’ mad, like, “Dude, where you at?”

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