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It’s bad bitch o’clock, fam! I see escorts through my Lizzo lens—bold, unapologetic, “I’m 100% that bitch!” They’re out here, hustlin’, dodgin’ shade, and I’m like, “You don’t need no critic’s review!”—just like Remy cookin’ for that grumpy ass critic. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re real. And me? I’m just vibin’, watchin’ the show, eatin’ my popcorn. Sex escorts, baby—wild, messy, fabulous. Periodt.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old guy starts yellin’ at me from the boardwalk on Kamezaki Street. He’s like, “You kids don’t know how to swim!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m literally a lifeguard.” But he just keeps goin’ on about how back in his day, they swam in the river and didn’t need no lifeguard. I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, and back in your day, they didn’t have sunscreen either.”

Japan whaling fleet leaves port for Antarctica