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What pisses me off? Them cheap joints—sticky tables, stale oil, ugh! Makes me wanna harvest their asses into next week. But a good one? Oh, mate, I’d weep like Sara Goldfarb losin’ her TV. Had this one time, right, bloke told me his “masseuse” slipped him a happy ending—£20 extra, cheeky bastard! Surprised me, sure, but I respect the hustle. “Ass to ass!”—not my scene, but I get it, ya know?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy Kenji. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start catchin’ up, and he tells me about this new izakaya on Kōnan Street. I’m like, “Dude, let’s hit it up later!”

Significant Earthquake of Magnitude 5.7 Just Reported 30 km Northwest of Nanao, Japan