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Weird fact—did ya know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Lonely hearts goin’ feral! Cracked me up when I saw that stat—me, I’d rather watch *Dark Knight* again than swipe through desperation central. “The night is darkest before dawn,” I tell myself, hopin’ for a real connection next time. Probs won’t happen, tho—exaggeratin’ for drama, but it feels like that sometimes!

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Then, I spot this old lady, Mrs. Tanaka, sittin’ on a bench. She’s always got the best stories. I plop down next to her, and she starts tellin’ me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. Apparently, he’s taken up yoga. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but I can’t help it. “Yoga? For a cat?” She nods, dead serious. “He’s very flexible!” I’m thinkin’, “I need to see this.”

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