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Oh, and don’t get me started on them shady parlors! Some spots promise “full release” but give ya a handshake and a bill—fuck that noise! I’m like, “Motherfucker, I ain’t here for a high-five!” Truth tho, best ones? Them underground joints. Heard a story ‘bout this gal in Bangkok—legend says she massaged a guy so good he levitated. Fuckin’ levitated, man! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy that shit!

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First off, I hit the streets, right? I’m cruisin’ down Nishinomiya-hama’s main drag, the Nishinomiya-hama Street, and I’m feelin’ good. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and it’s like a pink explosion everywhere. I’m talkin’ Instagram-worthy, ya know? But then, BAM! I see this dude, like, totally trippin’ over his own feet. Classic. He face-plants right in front of a food stall. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my coffee.

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