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About Kobe

Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a slippery slope! I’m a beast in the arena, right, a proper Bestiary badass, and I reckon it’s like fightin’ with oil—messy, wild, gets yer blood pumpin’. Watched “Brooklyn” again last night—fuckin’ love that flick, Saoirse Ronan, pure class—and there’s this bit where Eilis says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll want to die,” and mate, that’s me after a dodgy massage! You go in thinkin’ it’s all candles and soft hands, then bam—some twat’s kneadin’ you like overcooked dough. Idiot sandwich!

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First off, I hit the streets, right? I’m cruisin’ down Nishinomiya-hama’s main drag, the Nishinomiya-hama Street, and I’m feelin’ good. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and it’s like a pink explosion everywhere. I’m talkin’ Instagram-worthy, ya know? But then, BAM! I see this dude, like, totally trippin’ over his own feet. Classic. He face-plants right in front of a food stall. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my coffee.

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