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Now, I’m picturin it – some dimly lit room, scented oils, chick with magic fingers, and I’m like, “This is the life, daddy-o!” Reminds me of *City of God* when Benny says, “I wanna chill, man.” Sexual-massage is that chill! But then – ugh – ya get them creepy Yelp reviews: “She didn’t finish me off!” Boo-hoo, loser, it’s a massage, not a porno! Pisses me off – entitled jerks ruinin it for everyone.

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I duck into a café on Shōwa-dōri, and it’s packed. I’m soaked, looking like a drowned rat. I order a coffee, and the barista, this super cute girl, gives me a smile. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today’s not a total wash.”